No Manners = tough consequence!

So, I know everyone picks their battles differently! This seems to be a hard thing for a lot of people to understand! Simply for the fact that someone might allow their child to get away with something that you wouldn't let slide for a second, but freaks out on their kid for something that you might find incredibly silly! What I have learned is that NOBODY knows your child better than you or has to deal w/ your child and their challenges more than you! Well, you might say that isn't so if your child, or someone else's, is in daycare full time! You probably know that every child behaves differently for mommy and daddy. Your challenges with your child might be completely different than the challenges any other provider might have w/ them, especially in an entirely different environment!

I actually used to think that a childs personality and behavior was 100% a product of how parents raise them, then I had my own!I still think parenting and discipline plays a MAJOR role in the outcome of a childs behavior and good/bad habits! With that being said, after having 4 entirely different children, I now know that they are all born w/ their own little personalities! Some of those personalities are much more stubborn than others! I have a couple of kids who, on some days, you would think that their major defeat for the day is to see how far they can push me and how much they can get away with! Well, I will admit that some days I am much more tolerant than others. Even though I know how incredibly important it is to be consistant, I'm not always consistant about everything! There are those days where I have so much to do in such little time, that I let things slide just because I am not entirely focused and I just need for them to stay busy! Then there are those days where I am just TIRED and don't have the energy to pick the battles I know I should probably (and usually do) pick! That's when I know I am going to have to face the consequences of my laziness because they WILL throw it back in my face!

However, manners is NOT one of the things that me or my husband let slide! I have such a hard time when a child, who is old enough to know better, doesn't have decent manners! I am not saying that ever child should say "yes ma'am" or "yes sir" because that, to me, is more of a southern thing. I have offended people from up North or out West by calling them ma'am! I do like it when my kids say "ma'am" or "sir" when I am needing confirmation that they understand me, but do not insist that they answer me with "ma'am." It's the simple manners like "please," "Thank You," "Yes Please," and "No Thank You" that every child needs to know by 5 years old...AT THE LATEST! I cringe when I am with an adult at a resaurant who literally demands things from the server and acts like "that's their job, their here to serve ME!" I literally want to get up from the table and leave it offends me so much! There is no excuse for rudeness! I know how hard it is to be a waiter/waitress and they need to be treated with respect! That goes for anyone who is going out of their way, even in the slightest, to do something nice for you! Both my husband and I feel the exact same way! We want our children to appreciate and respect anyone and everyone no matter what, but especially when they are helping you!

Unfortunately, as much as we remind the kids to say "please" and "thank you" it doesn't quite seem to stick w/ some as well as others! Since we had our 1st child we have continued to be very consistant when it comes to implementing manners and being polite! Once they learn manners, its almost as if you have to teach them, all over again, to say it with sincerity...EVEN if someone is giving you something you don't really want! The fact is, someone thought of you and wanted to give you something...NO MATTER WHAT IT IS! This has hasn't been the easiest concept for one to grasp and has caused quite a bit of frustration for us, to say the least! We really thought this child of ours was getting so much better about it, and for the most part, really has improved, but when your given something by a random stranger and you don't say "Thank You" even with a reminder...we have an issue! Especially when the individual was a child who had won a couple of stuffed animals out of a claw machine and chose my children to give them to!

So we feel like were back at square one! After a punishment of a week on restriction and a long discussion on how it probably made that sweet little boy feel to be so excited to share a stuffed animal with a stranger, only to not even recieve as much as a Thank You, we hope that this won't happen again!

So you see, I might not discipline my kids harshly for making messes, jumping on the bed, or running around the house and playing wild...because their kids...but I do feel like there are very important things that should become second nature to them...like MANNERS! What kids don't realize is that we also get punished by their poor choices!

Although this is just one of the battles that we (my husband and I) choose to pick as parents, this might not be as big of a deal to others. To us, it's a big deal!

Competing For Noise!

So even with 3 DVD players and 4 screens in my van I still hear crying, screaming, and arguing! Forget ever hearing the radio! I don't think I could name a single top 40 hit right now if I tried! It's as though there is this underlying agreement between my 4 kids that as long as all of them are in the van at the same time...make mommy crazy! If I only have 1, 2 or sometimes even 3 kids in the van there is silence...other than the sound of their DVD players, but put all 4 in and complete chaos!

So today, after I picked up my older two from Karate class, we headed out on our 25 minute drive home...here in the south 25 minutes isn't considered to be much of a drive! My 7 month old just decided he was going to scream as loud as he possibly could for no other reason, other than he wanted to be held! After listening to him for 5 minutes, by 2 year old decided she wanted out of her carseat and NOW! She starts screaming "Out momma out! whaaaaaa!!!!" Then AJ is yelling at Ansley to be quiet and stop screaming! All the while I am trying to talk to my mom on the phone! How my mom didn't just hang up or even gently let me go, is beyond me! She must have been enjoying the sounds of payback! Two minutes before we pulled into the driveway...silence! I probably should have kept driving...

I guess the miserable car ride wasn't enough! When we got home I realized it was time for Austin's bath. I had to use the restroom first, so i set him down and had to hear him scream while I used the bathroom and then to fill his tub! As I am filling his tub and he is screaming, Ansley trips over my flat iron cord and falls on her face, so now she is screaming! Once I get Austin in the tub he starts crying again (not sure why because he loves his bath), then Ansley screams and cries because she wants to help bathe Austin! FINALLY, after Austin's bath, I hear no whining...for all of 30 seconds! AJ happened to be laying on the floor behind Aleigh when she decided to throw her head back and slam it into his cheek bone(it was accidental)! He immediately reacts by slamming her head down and pushing all of his weight on her head! Now I have ALL 4 kids crying because two are hurt, I am scolding AJ for reacting the way he did to an accident but still trying to comfort him because he is hurt...but Aleigh's hurt too, Austin is tired, hungry, and wanting to be held, and Ansley decides I need to be holding her as well! I froze and we all sat on the floor of AJ's bedroom until everyone pulled it together....including me!

I finally get everyone downstairs, look at the clock, and realize it's 7:30 and we haven't had dinner...haven't even thought about dinner or the fact that we have no food in the house! I was grateful to spot a pizza coupon for a large pizza for only$6.99! I call and order the pizza and opt to pick it up since it's right around the corner and cheaper than delivery. Then I go to feed Austin, he falls asleep! Now how...and WHY would I wake him up to go pick up a pizza just around the corner?! I choose to put him in his bed and call the pizza place to change it from carryout to delivery. FINALLY...I can sit down w/ the kids and wait for our dinner to knock on the door! Pizza arrives, I set a plate out for the kids, grab a plate for me, serve drinks, and THE SECOND I sit down...Austin is screaming! FORGET ABOUT IT! This little baby boy of mine is usually SUCH a wonderful and pleasant baby...WHAT IS HIS DEAL today?! I was hungry, tired, frustrated, and incredibly overwhelmed when I realized Austin was going to be difficult no matter what I did...unless I was holding him. So, after knowing he was well fed, changed and had no other issue other than having to be incredibly tired...I layed him in his bed...he cried, but eventually went to sleep!

I am so tired, and should go to bed but I feel as though I have to sit here and enjoy the fact that my time is MY TIME right now...don't want to waste it by sleeping when I can watch my shows, read, catch up on emails, do online research....or blog!