So, I know everyone picks their battles differently! This seems to be a hard thing for a lot of people to understand! Simply for the fact that someone might allow their child to get away with something that you wouldn't let slide for a second, but freaks out on their kid for something that you might find incredibly silly! What I have learned is that NOBODY knows your child better than you or has to deal w/ your child and their challenges more than you! Well, you might say that isn't so if your child, or someone else's, is in daycare full time! You probably know that every child behaves differently for mommy and daddy. Your challenges with your child might be completely different than the challenges any other provider might have w/ them, especially in an entirely different environment!
I actually used to think that a childs personality and behavior was 100% a product of how parents raise them, then I had my own!I still think parenting and discipline plays a MAJOR role in the outcome of a childs behavior and good/bad habits! With that being said, after having 4 entirely different children, I now know that they are all born w/ their own little personalities! Some of those personalities are much more stubborn than others! I have a couple of kids who, on some days, you would think that their major defeat for the day is to see how far they can push me and how much they can get away with! Well, I will admit that some days I am much more tolerant than others. Even though I know how incredibly important it is to be consistant, I'm not always consistant about everything! There are those days where I have so much to do in such little time, that I let things slide just because I am not entirely focused and I just need for them to stay busy! Then there are those days where I am just TIRED and don't have the energy to pick the battles I know I should probably (and usually do) pick! That's when I know I am going to have to face the consequences of my laziness because they WILL throw it back in my face!
However, manners is NOT one of the things that me or my husband let slide! I have such a hard time when a child, who is old enough to know better, doesn't have decent manners! I am not saying that ever child should say "yes ma'am" or "yes sir" because that, to me, is more of a southern thing. I have offended people from up North or out West by calling them ma'am! I do like it when my kids say "ma'am" or "sir" when I am needing confirmation that they understand me, but do not insist that they answer me with "ma'am." It's the simple manners like "please," "Thank You," "Yes Please," and "No Thank You" that every child needs to know by 5 years old...AT THE LATEST! I cringe when I am with an adult at a resaurant who literally demands things from the server and acts like "that's their job, their here to serve ME!" I literally want to get up from the table and leave it offends me so much! There is no excuse for rudeness! I know how hard it is to be a waiter/waitress and they need to be treated with respect! That goes for anyone who is going out of their way, even in the slightest, to do something nice for you! Both my husband and I feel the exact same way! We want our children to appreciate and respect anyone and everyone no matter what, but especially when they are helping you!
Unfortunately, as much as we remind the kids to say "please" and "thank you" it doesn't quite seem to stick w/ some as well as others! Since we had our 1st child we have continued to be very consistant when it comes to implementing manners and being polite! Once they learn manners, its almost as if you have to teach them, all over again, to say it with sincerity...EVEN if someone is giving you something you don't really want! The fact is, someone thought of you and wanted to give you something...NO MATTER WHAT IT IS! This has hasn't been the easiest concept for one to grasp and has caused quite a bit of frustration for us, to say the least! We really thought this child of ours was getting so much better about it, and for the most part, really has improved, but when your given something by a random stranger and you don't say "Thank You" even with a reminder...we have an issue! Especially when the individual was a child who had won a couple of stuffed animals out of a claw machine and chose my children to give them to!
So we feel like were back at square one! After a punishment of a week on restriction and a long discussion on how it probably made that sweet little boy feel to be so excited to share a stuffed animal with a stranger, only to not even recieve as much as a Thank You, we hope that this won't happen again!
So you see, I might not discipline my kids harshly for making messes, jumping on the bed, or running around the house and playing wild...because their kids...but I do feel like there are very important things that should become second nature to them...like MANNERS! What kids don't realize is that we also get punished by their poor choices!
Although this is just one of the battles that we (my husband and I) choose to pick as parents, this might not be as big of a deal to others. To us, it's a big deal!
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